Blind Date
by FairyNiamh
Summary: Gaila and Kirk set up McCoy on a blind date.  Ficlet


Disclaimer: I do not own Star Trek in any way shape or form and make nothing from this.  
A/N: A Special Thanks to drivven who beta'd. Written in response to a challenge over at the st_xi_kink_meme.

Leonard sat on the bench feeling five times the fool. He had no idea how his friend had managed to talk him into a blind date. No, scratch that, he knew exactly how he had managed that. Never could tell the bastard no.

The damned fool even talked him into wearing this ridiculous outfit. Who in their right mind would want to see his thin bony ass in jeans three sizes too small? The too tight black muscle shirt and and royal blue satin shirt... well that was just carrying things over the top, in his opinion.

His date was late. Well would be late in less than five minutes. When that time was up he was going to go and get roaring drunk. Then he was going to lay the biggest guilt trip on that blond buffoon.

Hell Jim didn't know anything about this person, other than the fact that they loved purple and evidently sour Georgian doctors. Hell Jim had never even _met_ this person. He had found out through Gaila, who had set this whole sorry assed scheme up. What the hell did you talk about on a blind date? Did you kiss them at the end or just shake hands? If it was a disaster was it OK to sneak out the back door? What in the hell would you bring your date if you knew nothing about them?

As the green-blooded hobgoblin would say, this whole damned thing was 'Highly Illogical.' He let his face fall into his waiting hands and groaned. Great, now he was thinking like Spock and he just knew this date would turn out a total disaster.

Just as he was fixing to make a break for it... pardon, just as he was fixing to head back to the Enterprise to enjoy the rest of his shore leave in peace, he heard someone clearing their throat. With severe trepidation he peaked at the person and then prayed that this wasn't his date. Why? Because number one: it was a man, Leonard McCoy had only ever wanted one man in his life... and this person certainly wasn't him, and two: the man had no taste in clothing what so ever.

Someone should really tell the man, with a fucking lavender Celtic heart tattoo in the middle of his bald head, that salmon and chartreuse did NOT go well with his green skin tone. However Leonard was not suicidal, homicidal yes suicidal no, and this man was a fucking mammoth so it wasn't going to be him that told him.

"Are you Leonard?" the obviously color blind man asked.

Struck speechless by his damned luck and terror, all he could was nod in answer.

"Hello Leonard, I'm Nero. I hope I didn't keep you waiting too long," the man simpered as he fluttered his eye lashes and handed McCoy a bouquet of flowers.

"Nope. Not long at all," he answered out loud while inside he was cursing Jim, Gaila, and praying for some emergency to call him back to the ship.

"I've been looking forward to meeting you for quite a long time. Your heroics and knowledge inspired me to become the man I am today."

It took all of the doctor's will power to ask the man why he had a garish tattoo if he had was inspired _him_. What did that say about him as a person? Maybe he really should get out more often... like right now... yeah he should go out and get blind drunk and try to burn away the image of this man, Nero, that was searing itself into his retina. "I'm flattered," he managed to choke out at last.

"Where are we going tonight Leonard?"

"Uhh, were we supposed to go somewhere?" 'Play it dumb Leonard and maybe you can get out of this hell all that much sooner,' he thought to himself.

"This _is_ a date. Wait... Kirk _did_ tell you this was a date didn't he?" the menacing man asked through narrowed eyes.

"Must have slipped his mind," McCoy said while leaning further away.

"Damn that Kirk! I just knew he wasn't going to hand you over! You have a right to be happy too! Please Leonard, give me a chance... let me be the one to fulfill your every need. Let me hold you and take care of you. Let me be your one. Please let me be your squeaky bear," the man pleaded with him, on his knees.

If Nero hadn't been so damned scary McCoy might have just taken him up on the offer.

"I'm sorry. I truly am. All my time is devoted to Jim and the Enterprise. Please, just forget all about me. I know you will find someone who will love you the way you need to be loved," McCoy said sincerely as he stood up and made his way to the teleport coordinates. He hadn't lied to the man... his life really was devoted to Jim... currently it was devoted to making Jim as miserable as he could get away with.

~FIN~


End file.
